I deserve a homebrew because....

[John Sand]

Get a dog!

[duff]

I should. Get a big viscous looking malamute. Of course they are some of the nicest dogs and would just be excited to have somebody new to play with. But the person on the other side of the door isn't likely to know that.

[RickBeer]

<rant>
I deserve a homebrew because I have managed to keep my calm while talking to these idiotic jehovah's witnesses. It is apparently missionary season. I have had three come to my door this morning. I have had another 6 this week and a few last week. I hate that I have to hide in my own house. Unfortunately I am now a full time student so I spend a great amount of time on my computer which is in view of the windows as you walk up to the house. If they see me they will continue to bang on the door and ring the doorbell until I answer the door. I don't want to have to close my blinds and not be able to see the sun the whole time I am home. So far they have all come from different churches that aren't even close to here and calling them to tell them to leave me alone doesn't seem to help. When I have pointed out the no solicitation sign I have just been told that it doesn't apply to missionaries because they are trying to save my soul.

I don't go to your house and preach my views to you so please leave me alone.
</rant>

Check your town's ordinances. Also, if you post No Solicitation signs and they don't obey, then you can call the police and get them removed from your property.

Our entire development is private, i.e. we own our roads. We don't allow solicitation of any type. Local "save the environment" group got a judge to tell our township that they had the right to collect signatures in the township, because they were exempt from the township's rules (requires a permit, etc.). However, since we are private, we can prohibit anyone from using our roads. So they were called by the Association's board and told that if they returned they would be removed by the police and we would prosecute. They stopped coming...

[Brewbirds]

Maybe you could redirect a sprinkler so it covers the front porch.

[duff]

There are a lot of good ideas. Maybe I can combine them all.

Get a police trained german shepherd with a sprinkler attached to it that sprays in the direction it's barking. Then I could just let it go every time they stop by. It would be able to chase after them for as much hose as it has.

[DirtRacer]

Speaking of JWs, about 8 or 9 years ago I saw a family of them in my neighborhood so I hurried up and loaded my fishing gear and left. Went down to the river, was stopped in the boat launch parking lot getting my gear when I hear a vehicle screech to a stop and what do you know, it's the JWs. They followed me from my house to the river. I say I deserve a homebrew tonight just for not going off on them, mostly because they had their kid of about 7 years old with them. I say this now because back then I wasn't homebrewing

[FedoraDave]

There are a lot of good ideas. Maybe I can combine them all.

Get a police trained german shepherd with a sprinkler attached to it that sprays in the direction it's barking. Then I could just let it go every time they stop by. It would be able to chase after them for as much hose as it has.

Sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their heads!

[FedoraDave]

Wait! Does Dave deserve a beer for changing his flat, or should he be penalized a beer for not having AAA or if it was on his work truck not having the company get it changed?

It was my work truck, and if I waited for the company to get it changed I'd have lost the whole morning, rather than the half hour it took me to change it myself.

[Inkleg]

I haven't had any show back up since I answered the door in my underwear and ask if they could keep the noise down and put a dimmer switch on the sun, because I'd been up all night drinking and having wild sex.
That's a true story, not that I had been doing it, but that's exactly what I told them and I did answer the door in my underwear. No ones come back yet, guess they think I might be a little more work than they're geared up for.

[BrownstotheBone]

I don't go to your house and preach my views to you so please leave me alone.

Amen!

[BrownstotheBone]

I haven't had any show back up since I answered the door in my underwear and ask if they could keep the noise down and put a dimmer switch on the sun, because I'd been up all night drinking and having wild sex.
That's a true story, not that I had been doing it, but that's exactly what I told them and I did answer the door in my underwear. No ones come back yet, guess they think I might be a little more work than they're geared up for.

LOL Love it.

[berryman]

I haven't had any show back up since I answered the door in my underwear and ask if they could keep the noise down and put a dimmer switch on the sun, because I'd been up all night drinking and having wild sex.

Wow, I'd like to try that on them sometime, but I don't have the balls to do that unless "I'd been up all night drinking" which does happen some, or "having wild sex" which I can't remember when the last time was.
I just hide until they leave.

[berryman]

I had an un-eventful day today, but I do deserve a homebrew because I had an uneventful day.

[brewin bull]

I deserve a homebrew for FINALLY getting the business analyst to understand after 2 weeks, that I actually do know what the hell I am talking about!!!!!

[FedoraDave]

I haven't had any show back up since I answered the door in my underwear and ask if they could keep the noise down and put a dimmer switch on the sun, because I'd been up all night drinking and having wild sex.
That's a true story, not that I had been doing it, but that's exactly what I told them and I did answer the door in my underwear. No ones come back yet, guess they think I might be a little more work than they're geared up for.

My sister is an artist, and she was busy cleaning her pallet of red paint, which she scrapes off with a razor blade. One of these door-to-door evangelists came knocking, and she answered the door, leaned against the door frame with a razor in her hand and red paint dripping down her arm, and said, "Is this going to take long, because I'm really busy..."

She hasn't been bothered since.

True story, and if you knew my sister, you'd not doubt a word of it.