'Eff'd up brew day from heck

[mashani]

So I am brewing a nice Simcoe black IPA. At least that's the plan.

So I do my steep, pull the bag, top it up to boil volume and add some DME to get it to the boil gravity I want. Watching it carefully for hot break.

Cats get in a fight. Herding dog goes nuts because she's the only one who is allowed to start a fight, so she's determined to break it up. Fur is flying. I turn down the heat and then go to break up the break up real quick.

Come back to as someone quaintly put on the old Borg forum "burn't alien bat shit" - boil over. Turning down the heat was not good enough. I should know better.

So I clean up that freaking mess, and resume my boil, and once I'm sure it's not going to foam over go check on my dogs nose, which got the bad end of cat claws.

Boil is done, so I do my late extract addition, get temps back to where I want them, and toss in the Simcoe I'm going to use for a hop stand. Turn off the heat and put a lid on the pot. Set timer for 20 minutes and go downstairs. About 15 minutes later I hear a weird hissing sound.

Go upstairs, only to find... Moar burn't alien bat shit! I didn't turn off the heat... I turned the farking knob the wrong way and it was on "low". Which was enough to bring it back to a boil from my hop stand temp, and foam up my late extract...

So I clean up that mess, and by the time I'm done with that my "hop stand" as such has gone on 30 minutes with wide temperature variation.

I never do stupid 8&$8 like this.

I then went to get my hydrometer to check the OG and it committed suicide because I'm so mad my hands are shaking.

I then just gave up and poured it into my fermenter. Except I missed because I'm so mad my hands are still shaking, so I spilled at least a cup of the wort all over the place.

So I clean up that mess, try to clean off the fermenter as best as I can (LBC), I'm sure there is sticky crap down in the base but there's nothing I can do about it right now.

So I now have god knows what at god know what OG in my fermenter.

I shall name it "The 'effing Cascadian."

I hope it's not the best thing I ever brewed. Because if it is, there is no way I'm making it again.

[FrozenInTime]

Wow, what a freaking day! Sorry to hear about it. This goes to show what I tell everyone with my limited knowledge. Never-NEVER turn your back on a pot with DME, it can and WILL bite u in the ass. Yes, I know from experience. Accidents do happen to the best of us. Very sorry it happened to you bro.

An extract black IPA, care to share the recipe? I still have 3 pounds of amber DME to use up.

[DirtRacer]

Hope it still does come out well enough to be worth the hassle. The name is great as well and definitely, as you already posted, is worthy of a home brew.

[mashani]

My recipe was all pale extracts. The color came from 1/4# each of Carafa III, de-bittered black malt, and 40L Crystal in a 2.5 gallon batch. (and the burning LOL). Everything else was just extra light DME and pale LME. Amarillo and Simcoe hops.

What kind of Amber DME is it you have? Maybe I can figure a recipe for you based on it if I look up it's make up. Probably would want to ditch the crystal malt, and just use the Carafa and de-bittered black malt for a steep.

[FrozenInTime]

I have a 3lb bag of sparkling amber. I have a huge mix n match of the other stuff. I'm pretty sure I have cara, black malt and 40L, and 50lbs of 2-row. Wheat DME, lb me thinks.

[Inkleg]

Sorry about your brew day Dave, but many thanks for the laugh.

[russki]

Dave - happens to the best of us! Now repeat after me: RDWHAHB!

[philm00x]

I have a 3lb bag of sparkling amber. I have a huge mix n match of the other stuff. I'm pretty sure I have cara, black malt and 40L, and 50lbs of 2-row. Wheat DME, lb me thinks.

briess sparkling amber uses 2 row, munich, and 60L crystal, so the carafa and black would be all you'd need to steep, like mashani said.

also, mashani, man what a s***ty brew day! I don't think I'd ever wanna have to re-create that fight scene lol.

[gwcr]

Yikes! Not the relaxing brew day that it should be. When it rains it pours...

On the upside, you still made beer. Hope it turns out decent for you.

RDWHAHB!

[Brewbirds]

I only had screwed up brew days when I didn't put on my brew apron and hat. I am now as superstitious as a baseball player.

My dogs have learned that I ain't budging from the stove during a hot break so if they want to fight or anything else they will just have to wait.

Sorry you had such a bad brew day Mashani but this was completely worth it for you to share:

I hope it's not the best thing I ever brewed. Because if it is, there is no way I'm making it again.

[John Sand]

Sorry Mash! I've been there.

[RickBeer]

That's how I felt the other day when I tried to do two steeps together (Carafoam), then split it. I dropped the Honey Malt into the steep and pulled it back out since it was only for one of the batches. Then, I put the 1/2 lb of LME in the batch that was supposed to get the 1 lb, and the 1lb in the 1/2 lb batch... That's when I took a deep breath and said RDWHAHB!

[BeerRust]

Wow....I had similar day today. I haven't brewed in months. Got all my stuff out, sanitized and ready to go. I couldn't get anything to hit right. I had DME spills, boil over , and wort spills too...For got to pull the hop sack out of the wort and dumped into the fermentor , than remembered an hour later and had to fish it out...I think I may call this one "BIG Mess Beer".....

[mashani]

I have a 3lb bag of sparkling amber. I have a huge mix n match of the other stuff. I'm pretty sure I have cara, black malt and 40L, and 50lbs of 2-row. Wheat DME, lb me thinks.

briess sparkling amber uses 2 row, munich, and 60L crystal, so the carafa and black would be all you'd need to steep, like mashani said.

also, mashani, man what a s***ty brew day! I don't think I'd ever wanna have to re-create that fight scene lol.

Yeah... will come out a bit more malty if you use all sparkling amber, but it will still work.

For 2.5 Gallons:

1/4# each Carafa III and De-Bittered Black
Enough sparkling amber or a mix of that and something lighter to get you to 1.07ish range. (something like 3.75# if all DME).
I'm thinking 1.5# of that stuff and use some pale dme/lme or 2-row to get you the rest, that would give you something similar from a crystal/malty standpoint maybe... or if you want more malt to back up the hops, you can use all of that amber dme, but some IPA purists would complain about it. (I personally would not, I like really malty IPAs).

Hops I used:

1/4oz Magnum (12%) @60
3/4oz Amarillo (8%) @15
1/2oz Simcoe (12.5%) @15
20 minute (intended) Hop stand of 1/4oz Amarillo and 1.5oz of Simcoe.

Will possibly dry hop more Amarillo and Simcoe depending on how it tastes.

Based on the utilization I seem to get from hop stands, I was figuring this would end up around 70 IBUs, maybe even more. But smooth IBUs since they mostly come from the hop burst and stand.

But since it got up to a boil briefly and went more like 30 minutes, it might be something totally outrageous.

I used S-04 yeast I this. S-05 or any other kind of American Ale yeast or any higher attenuating English yeast would work.

[T8rSalad]

Crying for you and laughing with you at the same time, Mashani...effing animals only wait to fight until worst possible moment when brewing. You think they are sleeping the day away and what happens? Shit happens. This will be your best brew to date, I have faith in that.

TFTL