Family member's alcoholism

[Bluejaye]

I just feel that I would sending the wrong message if I continue to brew.

First, good luck. Dealing with an alcoholic is not something I'd wish on anyone.

But this person needs to learn to deal with and handle their own problems, without everyone babying them and providing crutches. I'm not making that statement lightly, I'm making it based on personal experience. While I understand the first reaction to stop brewing, in the long run it is better to continue to provide a "normal" environment, and if that normal environment in your house means brewing, I'd continue.

[FrozenInTime]

I wish your family member the best. It's a long road to hoe but can be done. I think your descision to stop for a while is admirable. They will have a hard enough time without having the devil in their face 24/7.

Don't be a stranger, we will be here for you!

[joechianti]

That is a tough spot to be in, Banjo. My ex-wife had similar issues, in a big way. I tried keeping the house "clean" for her, and then she went elsewhere and found it, anyway. It's very frustrating. I have to admire you for being willing to make that sacrifice in an effort to help your family member. In the end, it truly is up to them, but you're a good soul for trying to help. I hope it all works out for them and for you.

[Wings_Fan_In_KC]

Banjo, you are right....no one is ever "cured" of addiction. I ended up being arrested for alcohol related charges in 2007 (not DUI, I was actually giving cops a hard time on the 4th of July for coming around and "policing" fireworks which are illegal in our city - I was drunk and after about 6/8 minutes of my non-stop verbal abuse, they got pissed off and arrested me for being drunk in public) and as part of my sentencing had to go through an alcohol program. Strangely enough, good things come out of bad situations and I learned a lot about the addictive personality.

Managing the addiction is hard but it is possible.

[Tabasco]

I have to stop brewing for the foreseeable future because a member of my family has returned home and is struggling with alchohol abuse.
I'm trying to be a little vague for privacy reasons.

This person is really trying hard to get control of their life by going to AA meetings every night and is in a substance abuse program.

I just feel that I would sending the wrong message if I continue to brew.

This is a disappointment for me because I love my new hobby and feel like I am just starting to make decent beer.

I'll be lurking on the Borg so you won't see many posts from me. Hopefully I'll be back and more importantly I am praying this person will continue to be strong.
Thanks for all your great advice and brewing knowledge.

One thing's for sure ... you are not selfish. Good for you; you are a real man.
However, I can't help but think there's a way. For me, it would be easy. I would put a lock on the door to the basement, where my brew room and kegerator are. I would put a small hatch hole in the door, so my cat Ingrid (she's so cute!) could get down there to use her ladylike box (did I mention she's cute?).
I would tell the person that he/she is not permitted in the basement, as I have a brewing hobby, and he/she has a problem. I would explain that he/she will not see or be exposed to my craft. I'd go down there to brew, watch tv and have homebrew any time I wanted. But, not everyone is fortunate enough to have this setup.

I sometimes grovel with the question as to whether or not I am an alcoholic. I drink too much beer. I really do. But never during the day on a work day, and I don't miss it at those times. Get me home on a weekend, or around dinner time during the week, and I want my beer.
I've never missed a days work due to a hangover. I've gotten the hang of "not starting early" when I go to a party like my son's engagement party, and pacing myself. I had to teach myself this.

So, maybe not.

But, your family member needs help, and it is big of you to help. However, if not brewing makes you unhappy, it's not wrong to keep pondering. A big part of a recovering alcoholic's burden is accepting that many people consume alcohol ... and he/she can not. Ever. Very hard. They have to realize that in their life there will be times that they are in situations where others are drinking, and the can not, absolutely can not, do it. Ever. Very hard. It is impossible to think they will be shielded forever.

I'm not trying to say I know what the answeres are. I'm not knowledgable in this. But if the person is enrolled in a program, and has the motivation to make it a permanent absolute top priority, he/she will succeed. If not, no ... no matter what you do.

[Tabasco]

Sorry dupe post

[docpd]

Banjo,

You have clearly thought this out and I think you are right that for now, stopping brewing is the right thing to do. Once your family member is further along in recovery, then Tabasco's suggestion of a locked area for your brewing sounds like a good one. Good luck. Dealing with an addict is never easy.

[joechianti]

Like some others here, I can see this issue, to some extent, from both sides of the fence. Like I said earlier, my ex-wife had serious addiction problems. She was also bipolar, so that sure didn't help. But like Tabasco, I am a heavy drinker. Okay, that's an understatement. I have to admit, I'm an alcoholic. But while it may only be a form of denial, I can say that I have a better than average capacity for controlling my addiction. I've also been very lucky in addition to that. I drink from the time my feet hit the floor out of bed in the morning until the time I crawl back into bed at night. I pace myself through the day and stay mellow but not inebriated. The level for intoxication here is .08, so my goal is to maintain a constant .07 level. Every once in awhile, usually when I'm at home for the rest of the day, I'll get a bit more "loose" than normal. But I know for a fact that some people have no control at all over themselves when it comes to intoxicants. Some people will simply go "cuckoo for cocoa puffs", as I like to call it, and that's just the way it is. Again, I admire you for trying to sacrifice your pleasure for the welfare of another. I just hope it works. It doesn't always.

[Banjo-guy]

Thanks for sharing all these personal stories.
I really do get that it's not up to me stop another person's drinking. Eventually I'm going to reopen the brewery. This is a new hobby for me. It's not as if it the only thing in my life.

If I can increase the odds of recovery by a few percentage points by removing this " in your face alcohol "then I will gladly put brewing on hold. I know too well that its no problem to get drugs or alcohol outside of my house.

Thanks guys. I'll be back!

[Brewbirds]

Also if you want to keep your hand in the brewing process for learning purposes you might find a local home brew club in your area and see if you can brew with members.

Best wishes for you and your family. But don't forget that you've been assimilated, you're one of the so keep in touch.