Tough Times

[D_Rabbit]

Life always seems to pull you back down to earth when your enjoying life.

Late 2016 and 2017 was not a good year for the Rabbit family. My wife lost her step grandfather in Dec 2016, grandmother in Feb 2017 and her other grandfather on Easter. We lived with that grandfather for almost 6 years prior to and right after we got married. I than lost a very close aunt to cancer in May 2017. We lived with her for 4 months while our house was being built in VA in 2016.

We were hoping for a better 2018.....

On Saturday my uncle suffered a massive stroke. This is the husband of my aunt who passed in May 2017. Things have continued to worsen and after consulting with DRs and family we have decided that it is best to remove him from life support tomorrow. It’s going to be a tough day and week!

Is it 2019 yet?

[John Sand]

Rabbit, I'm deeply sorry brother. I lost a lot of people last spring, it was tough.
Be kind to yourself and those you love. Smile when you think of the time you spent with those you lost. Here's to them all!

[Kealia]

Dan, very sorry to hear this. Clearly this is source of support for you so come here when you need it. We'll be thinking of you.

[berryman]

Rabbitman, So sorry for hearing of your losses and know how you feel. My Mom passed last year the day after Thanksgiving 2016 and Thanksgiving will never be the same for us anymore. Sorry to hear.

[bpgreen]

Sorry you're having a rough patch. I hope things get better for you.

[Inkleg]

Dan, sorry to hear this. May peace be with you and your family during this time.

[Beer-lord]

I too am very sorry to hear this Dan. Prayers to all in your family to help you get thru these tough times.

[TonyKZ1]

Wow, as others have already said, our prayers are with you and your family. May they help you get through these difficult times.

[RickBeer]

Clearly understand what you're going through. Hope your uncle finds peace, and your family also.

Both in-laws passed in their '90s in the last 18 months, and we've had probably a dozen relatives/friends pass in the past 3 or 4 years. As we all age, people we know age, and the circle of life impacts us a lot.

I know this is a beer forum, but we all have the same situations. If you have parents still alive, make sure they have in place medical and financial powers of attorney so that someone can act when time comes (such as pulling a plug or not putting it in the wall in the first place). Make sure that you know where your parents' money is, and how to access it. Make sure all of their accounts that can specify beneficiaries, this allows assets to transfer outside of probate (wills). If necessary, make sure a trust is in place (also avoids probate, not needed for many).

We had to exercise medical powers of attorney many times in the past 18 months, challenging medical professionals and the treatment plans they wanted to do, which violated the wishes of those they wanted to treat. We had to get doctors to sign that relatives were not competent to make their own medical and financial decisions - for people that could tell you what time it was, what year it was, and where they were.

Society tries to prolong life. Many of the elderly don't want their lives prolonged when the quality of living (dementia / Alzheimer's, lack of bowel control) isn't what they wanted. Yet society doesn't let us treat them like we do our pets - letting them go when they need to go.

The time to prepare is YESTERDAY. Don't wait, do it now. And, while you're at it, get things together for your kids to be able to make these decisions for you when they have to make them.

Lastly - I posted this to get people to understand, if they don't already. Not looking for "sorry for what you went through", please. As we age, we become the parents and our parents become our kids, and we have to make the decisions for them. That's just the way it is.

Sorry to derail things a bit. Best wishes.

[FedoraDave]

I'm sorry you're continuing to go through these trying times, Dan. I wish you and your family, grace, peace, and strength.

[RedBEERd]

D, I don't know you like many here do but I know you're a great BORG and I wish you and your family peace and comfort during these times. I don't consider myself old but I'm old enough to know I have more years behind me than ahead and that sometimes brings me sadness, esp when losing family and friends all too often. But I remind myself when I can that this is THE perfect reason to enjoy what time we do have with each other.

Peace, my prayers are with you and yours.

[FrozenInTime]

Sorry to hear your having a couple rough years.

[ScrewyBrewer]

Very sorry for your family's loss Dan. There are no words to describe what you must be going through. Someone once said 'this too will pass', and this will in time.