BeerBorg Beer Jokes...drink beer, tell joke

[FrozenInTime]

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy say's, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...then say's, "you'll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

[FrozenInTime]

Barack and Michelle Obama are at the White Sox baseball
game, sitting in the first Row with the Secret Service seated directly behind the president.

One of the Secret Service agents leans forward and says something To the President.
Barack stares at the agent, looks at Michelle, looks Back at the agent, and shakes his head no.
The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was a request from the team owner who is a big campaign Contributor
and the fans will love it."

So, Barack shrugs and Says, "Well, if it will help my poll numbers."
Barack gets up, Grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants,
and throws her Right over the railing into the field.

She gets up kicking, Screaming and swearing.
The crowd goes wild, cheering, applauding, and High-fiving. Barack is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the
agent and Says "You were right. I would have never believed that."
Noticing the agent has gone totally pale, Barack asks what was wrong.
The agent replies, "Sir, I said they want you to throw out the first Pitch!

[D_Rabbit]

This may be a repeat but I'm not reading all the prior pages.

Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.

A few days before the group's annual departure date, John's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. John's fishing buddies are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the three get to the camping site to find John sitting there with his tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, drinking a cold beer.

"Heck John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my recliner when my wife came up behind me, put her hands over my eyes, and asked, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

"She took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, where she'd lit candles and put rose petals all over the place. Well, she's been reading '50 Shades of Grey'......

"On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

"And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'

"So, boys, here I am!

[Beer-lord]

An Engineer Could Not Find A Job, So He Opens A Clinic, And Puts A Sign Outside That Says Get Treatment For $50, If Not Cured Get Back $100.

A Doctor Thinks This Is A Good Opportunity Show Up The Engineer And Earn A Quick $100. And So He Visits The Clinic.


Doctor: I Have Lost My Sense Of Taste.

Engineer: Nurse , Bring The Medicine From Box No 22 And Place 3 Drops In The Patient's Mouth.

Patient (Doctor): Spits Out The Medicine And Says "This Is Not Medicine, It's Gasoline".

Engineer: Congrats.. You Have Your Taste Back ..That Will Be $50


Doctor Gets Annoyed, And Returns After Several Days To Recover His Money.

Doctor : I Have Lost My Memory And Can't Remember A Thing.

Engineer : Nurse , Bring Medicine From Box No 22 And Put 3 Drops In Patient's Mouth.

Doctor: "This Medicine Is For The Sense Of Taste" Protests The Doctor.

Engineer : Congrats. Your Memory Is Back.. ...That Will Be $50


Doctor Leaves, But After Several Days Angrily Returns For One Last Try.

Doctor : My Eyesight Has Become Weak.

Engineer : Well I Don't Have Any Medicine For That. Take This $100

Doctor : But This Is a $50 Note

Engineer : Congratulations, Your Eyesight Has Gotten Better. ..That Will be $50

[FrozenInTime]

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/ww ... OR9-FXdIm0

Funny french add.

[Yankeedag]

Yep. That's funny.

[FrozenInTime]

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[Whamolagan]

What did the one saggy boob say to the other?


If we don't get some support soon, everyone will think we are nuts.

[Whamolagan]

How do you keep the Oakland raiders out of your front yard?


Put up a goal line.

[Whamolagan]

I put a Dallas Cowboys star on my vacuum, now it really sucks.

[Beer-lord]

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past
Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’
Not All Seniors Are Senile...

[FrozenInTime]

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