BeerBorg

My story is here for the telling. Not for the winning. In other words Louie, even if it's the most awesome thing ever, give the reward(s) to someone else, unless there isn't anyone else and you just want to get rid of something.

So now the story. It's similar to Berrymans, although it took longer to reach critical levels.

So, a long time ago in a place far far away - as in about 20 years and on the other side of the river - I lived with my wife. Who was soon to become my x-wife. That was already going to happen, but this hastened things along.

That was the first mistake.

Back then, I brewed in glass carboys, like BerryMan. This story specifically involves a 6.5 gallon one. One that I had dropped on my basement floor while cleaning one day. And I mean I really dropped it, from many feet above the floor. But it just bounced and then I grabbed it. It looked ok at the time, so I was very pleased that the dropping of it did not seem to do any damage.

That was the second mistake. Trusting the eyeballs.

I brewed some big expensive beer and put it in the thing, using a true top cropping yeast. I did not use a blow off because it was a 6.5 gallon carboy and it had less then 5 gallons of wort in it. I just jammed a stopper in it and jammed a single piece airlock into that - sort of like one of the bubbler airlocks that BrewDemon sells these days. I figured "self... it will be fine.... lots of head space!".

That was the third mistake.

I then put it in my closet on second floor where it stayed nice and warm so my yeast would be happy. Because often my yeasts like warm. A good idea at the time, but it turns out that...

That was the fourth mistake. Although it was also a blessing.

So... a few days later - "BOOM!". And then beer started to leak from the ceiling.

Opened the closet to find huge shared of glass embedded in the walls, the ceiling, the floor, every surface covered with beer and glass. Many gallons of beer, and many pounds of glass. I wish I had a picture of it, but the damage was quite impressive. Thankfully it was contained in the closet. If it was in the basement in the open and someone was in there when it happened, it could have been really bad...

Apparently the carboy was structurally damaged by dropping it. And my airlock got plugged. And it was jammed into the stopper and the stopper jammed into the carboy tight enough that the carboy went before it popped.

She who was ready to move out anyways, went totally ape shit.

And then moved out a week later.

It was a huge job to clean up that mess. Cost more then my beer equipment.

A month after that she was 2000 miles away, and I had to sell the house.

Soon after that I also moved, to a small apt. No room for all my remaining stuff, so I sold all of it and went on a brewing hiatus.

So, although I'm glad to be back, I'll never use glass carboys again, except for a secondary for a true sour if I ever decide to brew one again... and if I drop it I'm gonna chuck it.

Uhm, Yeah.....I don't think one should ever have beer leaking from the ceiling. Thanks for the laugh this morning. Sorry for "the beer loss".

Man, that's nuts! Kinda reminds me of a story my wife told me about how she got chili stuck on the kitchen ceiling, except there were no glass shards or beer involved of course.

I have too many visuals not to turn my stomach. Living in a 2 story home, I decided (so far) not to put any fermenters upstairs......besides having to carry them up stairs, I don't want to take the chances.
That's a story to tell a homebrewers club you want to join as an introduction. Everyone will remember you forever.

So, just how would you start that story out at the Homebrewers club?

Hi, my name is (insert name here). [group says: Hi (inserted name]. My car boy blew up and went boom. I lost a full batch of (type of beer), and my wife. [group says: sorry for your beer loss}.

Yeah, as I mentioned in Berryman's thread, even if I wind up doing everything wrong as a homebrewer (which I don't think I have, but anyway...), the ONE THING I did right was choosing Better Bottles when I jumped the broom into fiver territory. I can't tell you how many times I've dropped one of those things on the cement slab. "Bounce bounce bounce" is much more comforting than "shit! SMASH! TINKLE awwwwww.......dammit....."

I think this experience is one of the reasons I've stuck with bottling in 740ML Coopers PETs, LBks, and now LBCs. If I went bigger I'd get a bucket or a better bottle. They don't explode. I also ferment exclusively in my basement now. I've been tempted to move saisons into my attic a few times, but so far have not done it.

I think I'm still afraid of glass.

Breaking the glass carboy is bad and when full of beer.... what a job to clean up, but losing the beer, that's just devastating. I broke a glass 5 just before the one I dropped, luckily no beer in it. It was while I was cleaning and dropped a weighted hop sack to the bottom and it blew up into pieces, it was in my sink.